Midnight blues

Posted on Tue Apr 13th, 2021 @ 8:49am by 1st Lieutenant Robert Razer

Robert stood up from his comfy chair in his new quarters. The room was dark and cool. All he had was pj bottoms on. The windows were open facing out into space. Though Robert couldn't see just yet he could feel the cold of outer space. It comforted him. After going through the tramatic transformation. The implants were gonna take time to heal even with all the technology. He still need a couple weeks rest. But in the end it would be worth it. But sadly Robert knew those weeks in solitude would be tough. For his mind would wonder. Wondering and remembering the past .. for his mind was full of knowledge of the past he could not forget....of love ones loss due to time and family that grew to old.... Robert stood placing his hand on the glass.. thinking about life long past... a love one .. a woman..he had lost..... heart broken.. a tear.. he could feel it drip down one of his eyes... loneliness stricking him .... how he miss his univers.. his planet the smell of nature. The wetness of dirt in first rain ... the smell of a forest... he pictured himself walking through a northern plastic forest. With the trees canopy like skyscrapers atop blocking out the sky...he could hear voices... but he couldn't make them out...
Loughing... is this his past or future... he saw himself in plains... a grassy field as far as the eye can see... far in the distance a steam was crossing ... the cool breeze of the rain Robert could feel brush against him from the warm earth... Robert was lost ... he continued to follow his thoughts getting lost in this imaginary world of thoughts... place he has been... I think... place I will be... he could hear a woman's voice.... clear... I love you.... his mind burn to repeat I love you too... his heart bleed with the same response..... but he knew it could only be his imagination.... he could hear himself respond another sentence.. I wish we could know each other...earlier..... his mind quick change to another setting ... another forest next to a stream... he was alone again...with only his Thoughts and his sadness.... all Robert could do was sit down again.. for it went on for 2 weeks straight... the sadness.. the loneliness... his mind remembering the past ...he had no distraction or way to distract himself... so he would have to ride .... it out experience himself.. the past

He could hear waves from the ocean.. he was on an island.. he felt the warm sand inbeetween his toes...Robert fell to his back... he could feel the beach underneath him. Robert took a deep breath as he began to see it. His memory...the sound were comforting but a shadows of loneliness lurked in the shadows.. always following him... he could feel its cold presents.... Robert tried his best to ingore it.. failing.. sticking him like a spear through the heart he could hear her loughing....why must you hunt me.... a woman he loved.. or will love or longing to love..who are you?!... Robert would scream internally..... but she Never answered...his mind would just change the setting to another never a different planet...just the same... old but not the new earth an older one.... he could feel the heat of the desert beating on his body.. mountains surrounded him.. a Mojave Desert.. he didn't know how but he knew.. he could see a shadow in the distance... why even bother Robert fell to floor... feeling more heart broken and lonely then ever before... he had no control... no will.. within his mind so many things so many feeling..his past... no his ancestors....past.. or his future he never knew.... the mind was a glorious machine... and soon Robert would forget about his loneliness and continue to explore the wonders of earths habits again ...being chase by the shadows of his loneliness....